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  • 💖 What Is a Parasocial Relationship?

    💖 What Is a Parasocial Relationship?

    A parasocial relationship (PSR) is a one-sided, psychological bond or sense of intimacy that a person develops with a media figure, like a celebrity, fictional character, streamer, or politician. The key feature is that while one person feels they know the media figure deeply and intimately, the other person (the public figure) is completely unaware of the individual’s existence.


    🧐 Key Characteristics

    The concept of parasocial interaction (PSI), which leads to the full relationship (PSR), was first introduced by researchers Donald Horton and Richard Wohl in 1956.

    FeatureDescription
    One-SidednessThe feelings of closeness, attachment, and loyalty flow only from the fan to the media figure.
    Illusion of IntimacyThrough repeated exposure (watching a show, following social media, or listening to a podcast), the fan feels as if they are in a reciprocal, face-to-face interaction or friendship.
    Non-NegotiableThe relationship cannot be influenced or changed by the fan’s behavior, as the figure is not truly engaged.
    PersistenceThe bond often remains stable, providing comfort and companionship, unlike real-life social relationships that require mutual effort.

    📈 Examples in Modern Media

    While PSRs have existed since the early days of radio and television, the rise of modern digital platforms has intensified them by creating more direct and frequent forms of interaction (PSI):

    1. Celebrities/Influencers: Following a lifestyle blogger on Instagram and feeling you are their close friend, or feeling genuine grief when a popular YouTuber takes a hiatus.
    2. Streamers and Podcasters: The figure addresses the camera directly, uses terms like “my community” or “bestie,” and responds to comments or donations, mimicking a genuine conversation.
    3. Fictional Characters: Feeling deeply attached to a character in a book or TV show, and experiencing genuine emotional distress or “grief” when they are removed or killed off.
    4. Public Figures: Feeling a personal connection and intense loyalty to a political or spiritual leader, based primarily on their mediated persona.

    🧠 The Psychology Behind the Bond

    Humans are wired to form attachments. When exposed to media figures regularly, our brains process this interaction similarly to how they process real social interaction. PSRs often form because they:

    • Provide Low-Risk Companionship: They offer a sense of belonging and intimacy without the complexity, effort, or threat of rejection found in real-life relationships.
    • Offer Identity Reinforcement: Fans may use the perceived characteristics or values of the media figure to define or affirm their own self-concept.
    • Fulfill Social Needs: They are particularly appealing to individuals who are lonely or have limited social opportunities, offering a safe substitute for social interaction.

    ✅ Healthy vs. Unhealthy Parasocial Relationships

    PSRs are generally considered normal and often healthy when kept in perspective. They become problematic when they cross into maladaptive or obsessive territory.

    AspectHealthy (Adaptive) PSRUnhealthy (Maladaptive) PSR
    FocusAn enjoyable and temporary source of entertainment, comfort, or motivation.An obsession that interferes with daily life and real social interactions.
    RealityThe fan understands the relationship is one-sided and the figure is a persona.The fan genuinely believes they are friends or destined to be together (often leading to stalking or harassment).
    Emotional ImpactFeeling disappointment when a show ends, but quickly moving on.Experiencing severe emotional distress, anger, or depression upon being blocked, ignored, or realizing the person is inaccessible.

  • 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Value You (Even If They Say They Do)

    11 Subtle Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Value You (Even If They Say They Do)

    How to Recognize When Love Has Lost Its Appreciation

    Quick Answer: Lack of appreciation in relationships manifests through 11 key behaviors: discontinuing romantic gestures, poor listening skills, dismissing different perspectives, delayed responses to needs, ignoring contributions, undermining personal growth, deprioritizing the relationship, belittling comments, reduced intimacy, avoiding accountability, and taking love for granted. Research shows that expressing gratitude and responding to bids for attention are predictive of lasting relationships.


    Words are easy. Anyone can say “I love you.” But genuine appreciation shows up in actions, attention, and consistent effort. When appreciation fades from a relationship, the foundation begins to crack—often so gradually that neither partner notices until significant damage has occurred.

    Feeling valued isn’t about grand romantic gestures or expensive gifts. It’s about daily recognition, emotional attentiveness, and the small decisions that communicate “you matter to me.” When these signals disappear, even the strongest declarations of love ring hollow.

    Understanding the warning signs of diminishing appreciation can help you identify problems early, open important conversations, or recognize when a relationship no longer serves your wellbeing.

    Why Appreciation Matters in Relationships

    Appreciation forms the emotional bedrock of healthy partnerships. It’s the difference between a relationship where both people feel seen and one where someone feels invisible despite sharing their life with another person.

    Research published in Personal Relationships found that partners who regularly express appreciation report higher relationship satisfaction, greater commitment, and stronger emotional bonds. Conversely, when appreciation diminishes, resentment builds, emotional distance grows, and the relationship becomes transactional rather than nurturing.

    The Appreciation-Love Connection

    Interestingly, the act of expressing appreciation doesn’t just benefit the receiver—it strengthens the giver’s feelings as well. Studies have demonstrated that expressing love helps both partners feel more love, creating a positive feedback loop. When appreciation stops, this cycle reverses, potentially causing relationships to deteriorate through a self-perpetuating pattern of emotional withdrawal.

    11 Warning Signs of Lost Appreciation

    1. Romantic Effort Has Disappeared

    The transition from active courtship to comfortable companionship is natural. However, there’s a significant difference between comfortable familiarity and complete abandonment of romantic effort.

    What this looks like:

    • No more surprise gestures or thoughtful planning
    • Date nights become nonexistent
    • Special occasions pass with minimal acknowledgment
    • Physical affection becomes purely functional
    • Shared activities are replaced with parallel but separate lives

    Even after years together, partners can feel unappreciated when romantic gestures that once reinforced closeness fade, leaving them feeling unseen and undervalued. When one person stops courting their partner, it communicates that the relationship no longer requires investment.

    Why it matters: Continued courtship doesn’t require elaborate plans or significant expense. A spontaneous walk, sharing something funny, planning a movie night—these small gestures signal ongoing interest and investment. They communicate “I still choose you” and “our connection matters to me.”

    2. Active Listening Has Been Replaced With Passive Hearing

    There’s a profound difference between hearing words and genuinely listening to understand.

    What this looks like:

    • Interrupting or talking over their partner
    • Looking at phones during conversations
    • Dismissing emotions as overreactions
    • Offering unsolicited solutions instead of empathy
    • Forgetting important details shared previously
    • Responding with generic phrases that could apply to any situation

    Many people, particularly those socialized as problem-solvers, focus on fixing issues rather than providing emotional understanding. When a partner shares to feel heard and receives only solutions or dismissal, it creates profound loneliness.

    Why it matters: Effective listening validates existence and experience. Simple engagement signals—maintaining eye contact, using affirming sounds like “mm-hmm” or phrases like “I understand why that would upset you”—transform hearing into an act of love. These micro-moments of attention accumulate into feelings of being truly known and valued.

    3. Expecting Uniform Thinking and Emotional Processing

    Assuming a partner should think, feel, and react identically creates unrealistic expectations that guarantee disappointment and frustration.

    What this looks like:

    • Frustration when partner processes emotions differently
    • Dismissing perspectives that don’t align with their own
    • “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting”
    • Inability to accept different approaches to problems
    • Expecting partner to abandon their natural responses

    Men and women often (though not always) approach emotional processing differently, as do people with different personality types, cultural backgrounds, and lived experiences. Expecting conformity to one “correct” way of thinking devalues a partner’s entire psychological framework.

    Why it matters: Appreciation requires respecting different worldviews. When partners honor these differences rather than fight them, they gain access to richer, more nuanced perspectives. Diverse thinking styles strengthen relationships by bringing complementary approaches to challenges.

    4. Delayed or Dismissed Responses to Requests

    How someone responds when their partner asks for help reveals their true priorities.

    What this looks like:

    • “I’ll do it later” becomes “I forgot”
    • Acting interrupted or bothered by requests
    • Prioritizing personal activities over partner’s needs
    • Never following through without multiple reminders
    • Treating requests as optional suggestions

    Research from The Gottman Institute shows that partners who respond to one another’s bids for attention tend to have stronger bonds, and those responses predict marriages that last longer.

    Why it matters: Responsiveness communicates value. When someone consistently delays, dismisses, or ignores their partner’s needs, they send a clear message: “You and your needs are not important enough to interrupt my priorities.” Even when immediate action isn’t possible, acknowledging the request and creating a plan demonstrates care and respect.

    5. Invisible Labor Goes Unnoticed

    Many relationship tasks happen in the background—remembering important dates, maintaining social connections, managing household details, planning quality time together. When these contributions become expected rather than appreciated, resentment builds.

    What this looks like:

    • Assuming things happen automatically
    • Never thanking partner for routine efforts
    • Failing to notice when partner goes above and beyond
    • Taking credit for joint accomplishments
    • Complaining when something isn’t done without acknowledging everything that was

    Research reported by Harvard Health showed that people who expressed appreciation feel more positively toward their partner. The inverse is also true—lack of recognition breeds negativity.

    Why it matters: Acknowledging effort doesn’t require elaborate praise. Simple recognition—”I notice what you do” or “You make our life better”—validates invisible labor and reinforces that contributions matter. This recognition prevents the painful feeling of being taken for granted.

    6. Personal Growth Is Discouraged or Ignored

    Healthy relationships celebrate individual development alongside partnership growth. When one person feels threatened by or indifferent to their partner’s evolution, it signals fundamental insecurity or lack of care.

    What this looks like:

    • Discouraging new hobbies or interests
    • Showing no interest in partner’s goals or achievements
    • Competing with rather than celebrating successes
    • Undermining confidence or ambitions
    • Restricting friendships or outside activities
    • Making partner feel guilty for pursuing individual interests

    Why it matters: True appreciation celebrates the whole person, not just the role they fill in the relationship. Supporting personal growth demonstrates trust, respect, and genuine love. It communicates “I value who you are becoming” rather than “I only value what you do for me.”

    Partners who encourage each other’s development create relationships where both people can thrive as individuals while building something meaningful together.

    7. The Relationship Becomes an Afterthought

    When work, hobbies, friends, or devices consistently take priority over partnership, the message is clear: the relationship isn’t actually a priority.

    What this looks like:

    • Scheduling everything else first, fitting partner into remaining gaps
    • Constantly distracted by phones during shared time
    • Canceling plans with partner but never canceling other commitments
    • Spending minimal quality time together
    • Never choosing partner over other options

    Over time, this pattern erodes emotional connection. One person feels they’re competing for attention that should be freely given.

    Why it matters: Prioritization is a love language. Putting away devices during dinner, asking about their day with genuine interest, protecting dedicated couple time—these actions reassure partners that they matter most. Consistent presence builds trust and security.

    8. Criticism Masquerading as Humor

    Jokes at a partner’s expense, comparisons to others, or consistent criticism—even when framed as playful teasing—slowly erodes confidence and security.

    What this looks like:

    • “Just kidding!” after hurtful comments
    • Public embarrassment disguised as humor
    • Pointing out flaws or mistakes as entertainment
    • Comparing partner unfavorably to others
    • Dismissing hurt feelings with “You’re too sensitive”

    Therapist Dr. Mark Travers explains that snide jokes can easily reflect contempt, which is one of the most damaging forces in any relationship.

    Why it matters: Many people instinctively analyze the deeper meaning behind comments, wondering if jokes reveal true feelings. Consistent belittling—regardless of intent—undermines security and self-worth. Genuine appreciation shows up in words and humor that build up rather than tear down.

    Respect doesn’t mean never teasing, but it does mean ensuring humor never comes at the expense of a partner’s dignity or self-esteem.

    9. Physical and Emotional Intimacy Fades

    When affection, desire, and emotional vulnerability disappear, it signals disconnection on multiple levels.

    What this looks like:

    • Minimal or no physical touch
    • Avoiding intimate conversations
    • Treating physical intimacy as obligatory
    • No spontaneous affection
    • Emotional walls that prevent vulnerability
    • Rejecting or ridiculing emotional needs

    Physical and emotional intimacy are deeply intertwined. When one disappears, the other typically follows.

    Why it matters: Intimacy requires feeling emotionally safe and genuinely desired. Partners who maintain connection through consistent affection, vulnerable sharing, and physical closeness strengthen both dimensions of intimacy. When appreciation is present, desire naturally follows.

    10. Accountability Is Nonexistent

    Refusing to acknowledge mistakes, deflecting blame, or making excuses prevents relationship growth and damages trust.

    What this looks like:

    • Never apologizing or saying “I was wrong”
    • Blaming partner for all relationship problems
    • Defensive reactions to feedback
    • Excuses rather than ownership
    • Repeating hurtful behaviors without change
    • “That’s just how I am” as justification

    Avoidance can create resentment and diminish trust, ultimately destroying the foundation of the relationship.

    Why it matters: Accountability demonstrates emotional maturity and respect. When partners own their mistakes and work toward improvement, they show that the relationship matters more than their ego. This vulnerability builds trust and reassures that both people’s contributions are valued.

    11. Taking Love for Granted

    Perhaps the most painful signal: assuming a partner will always remain, regardless of treatment or effort invested.

    What this looks like:

    • Minimal effort in the relationship
    • Assumption that partner won’t leave
    • No concern about relationship quality
    • Ignoring warning signs or complaints
    • “They know I love them” without demonstrating it
    • Comfortable neglect

    Love isn’t permanent without maintenance. Relationships require consistent emotional nourishment from both partners.

    Why it matters: When people feel their love is assumed rather than earned and cherished, they begin questioning their value in the relationship. Partners who consistently show up through attentive communication, small gestures, and emotional presence demonstrate that love is both felt and actively maintained.

    The Gender Dynamics of Appreciation

    While these patterns can appear in any relationship regardless of gender, research suggests some gendered tendencies in how people express and experience appreciation.

    Traditional masculine socialization often emphasizes action and problem-solving over emotional expression and verbal affirmation. This can create situations where one partner feels deeply appreciated because their needs are met practically, while the other feels emotionally neglected despite material comfort.

    Similarly, traditional feminine socialization often emphasizes emotional labor and relationship maintenance. This can lead to an imbalanced dynamic where one person does most of the work to maintain connection while the other assumes the relationship will sustain itself.

    Understanding these patterns isn’t about excuse-making—it’s about recognizing that different socialization creates different blind spots. Awareness allows conscious correction.

    When Lack of Appreciation Becomes a Pattern

    Occasional lapses in appreciation are normal—life gets busy, stress accumulates, and people sometimes take each other for granted temporarily. The concern arises when these behaviors become consistent patterns rather than isolated incidents.

    Red flags that indicate systemic problems:

    • Multiple signs appearing simultaneously
    • Patterns persisting despite conversations about needs
    • Increasing frequency or intensity over time
    • Defensiveness rather than receptiveness when issues are raised
    • No genuine effort toward change

    If you recognize several of these patterns in your relationship, it warrants serious reflection and conversation.

    What to Do When Appreciation Has Faded

    Have Direct Conversations

    Many people never explicitly communicate their needs, assuming partners should intuitively understand. While ideal partners do develop this skill, clear communication accelerates understanding.

    Effective conversation strategies:

    • Use “I feel” statements rather than accusations
    • Provide specific examples rather than generalizations
    • Express what you need, not just what’s wrong
    • Listen to understand your partner’s perspective
    • Approach with curiosity rather than judgment

    Consider Professional Support

    Relationship counseling provides neutral ground to explore dynamics, learn communication skills, and develop strategies for rebuilding appreciation and connection.

    Therapy isn’t admission of failure—it’s investment in the relationship’s future.

    Evaluate Whether the Relationship Serves Your Wellbeing

    Sometimes, despite best efforts and clear communication, patterns don’t change. This reality doesn’t make anyone “bad”—it means the relationship may no longer be healthy for one or both people.

    Questions for reflection:

    • Does this relationship support or diminish your wellbeing?
    • Are your needs consistently met or consistently dismissed?
    • Does your partner demonstrate genuine effort toward change?
    • Do you feel valued, respected, and appreciated?
    • Would you want this relationship for someone you love?

    Choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You deserve a relationship where appreciation flows naturally and consistently.

    Rebuilding Appreciation in Your Relationship

    If both partners are committed to change, appreciation can be rebuilt through intentional effort.

    Daily Appreciation Practices

    Express gratitude regularly: Thank your partner for specific actions, not just outcomes Notice effort: Acknowledge attempts, not just successes Give focused attention: Put away distractions during conversations Physical affection: Small touches throughout the day maintain connection Verbal affirmations: Say “I appreciate you” and explain why Surprise gestures: Occasional unexpected acts of kindness

    Address the Root Causes

    Surface-level behavior changes rarely last without addressing underlying issues:

    • Unresolved resentments
    • Mismatched expectations
    • Poor communication patterns
    • Unmet emotional needs
    • External stressors affecting the relationship

    Working through these foundational issues creates sustainable change rather than temporary improvement.

    Commit to Consistent Effort

    Appreciation isn’t a destination—it’s an ongoing practice. Relationships thrive when both people commit to consistently showing up, expressing gratitude, and maintaining connection even when comfortable familiarity might tempt them toward complacency.

    Key Takeaways

    Warning signs of lost appreciation:

    1. Romantic gestures disappear
    2. Listening becomes passive or absent
    3. Different perspectives are dismissed
    4. Needs receive delayed or no response
    5. Contributions go unnoticed
    6. Personal growth is discouraged
    7. Partner becomes an afterthought
    8. Criticism disguises itself as humor
    9. Intimacy fades on multiple levels
    10. Accountability is avoided
    11. Love is assumed rather than nurtured

    Remember: Appreciation is a language that must be spoken fluently in healthy relationships. Words mean little without consistent, attentive actions that demonstrate genuine value for your partner’s presence, efforts, and essence.

    If you’ve identified these patterns in your relationship, view them as opportunities for growth and honest conversation. With mutual commitment, open communication, and consistent effort, appreciation can be rebuilt and strengthened.

    However, if patterns persist despite your efforts, remember that you deserve a relationship where you feel consistently valued, respected, and cherished. Choosing your wellbeing isn’t giving up—it’s honoring yourself.


    Author’s Note: This article explores general patterns in relationships and should not be considered a substitute for professional counseling or mental health support. Every relationship is unique, and these observations may not apply universally to all partnerships.

  • Heart Racing From Anxiety? 6 Science-Backed Ways to Calm Down Fast

    Heart Racing From Anxiety? 6 Science-Backed Ways to Calm Down Fast

    Evidence-Based Strategies to Stop Panic Attacks and Regain Control

    Quick Answer: When your heart races from anxiety, it’s your body’s fight-or-flight response activating—not a sign of danger. Anxiety is the most common cause of heart palpitations that aren’t related to a heart problem. Research shows that deep, slow belly breathing, grounding techniques like the “54321 game,” and finding a safe space can activate your parasympathetic nervous system to calm your racing heart within minutes.


    Your chest tightens. Your heart pounds so hard you can feel it in your throat. Your hands start shaking, and you can’t catch your breath. In these terrifying moments, it feels like your body has betrayed you—but what’s actually happening is a protective response gone into overdrive.

    Anxiety disorders promote the stress response, which influences the same brain systems that affect cardiovascular functions. Understanding this connection is the first step toward managing anxiety-induced heart palpitations effectively.

    Understanding Anxiety-Induced Heart Palpitations

    What Causes Your Heart to Race During Anxiety?

    When the brain perceives a threat—whether physical, emotional, or imagined—it signals the adrenal glands to release stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones prepare the body for action by heightening alertness, sharpening focus, and increasing heart rate.

    This biological response is called the fight-or-flight response. While it’s designed to protect you from genuine danger, common stressors such as public speaking, running late, or receiving unexpected news can all activate a racing heart.

    The Mind-Body Connection

    A quickened heartbeat may be the first signal, followed by shallow breathing or a sense of panic. The more attention these sensations receive, the stronger they feel. Understanding this bidirectional loop is the first step toward calming it.

    Your racing heart isn’t the problem—it’s your body’s response to perceived threat. Once you understand this, you can work with your nervous system instead of against it.

    How Common Are Anxiety-Induced Heart Palpitations?

    Two out of ten people visiting their family physician report experiencing palpitations—feeling their heartbeat in an unusual way. You’re not alone in this experience.

    Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition in the U.S. They affect almost 1 in 5 people at some point. Among those with anxiety disorders, heart palpitations rank among the most frequently reported physical symptoms.

    6 Evidence-Based Strategies to Calm a Racing Heart

    1. Rule Out Medical Emergencies First

    Before implementing calming techniques, ensure you’re not experiencing a cardiac emergency. According to the American Heart Association, top symptoms of a heart attack can come on suddenly or slowly: chest pain or pressure that radiates throughout your chest and upper body; discomfort or pain in other areas, such as one or both arms, the neck, jaw, back, or stomach.

    When to seek immediate medical attention:

    • Chest pain or pressure
    • Pain radiating to arms, neck, jaw, or back
    • Shortness of breath with chest discomfort
    • Sudden lightheadedness or loss of consciousness
    • Unexplained nausea or sweating

    If symptoms occur frequently, worsen, or are accompanied by chest pain, dizziness, loss of consciousness or shortness of breath, this could be a sign of an irregular heart rhythm (arrhythmia), thyroid disorder or other underlying health condition.

    If you’re uncertain, always err on the side of caution and seek medical evaluation.

    2. Create a Sense of Physical Safety

    Once you’ve ruled out a medical emergency, your next priority is signaling safety to your nervous system.

    When you feel unsafe, your body enters a ‘fight or flight’ state. Feeling safe allows your physiological stress response to calm down, which stops the cycle of panic and anxiety.

    Practical steps:

    • Find a quiet, comfortable space (your bedroom, bathroom, or a private corner)
    • Sit or lie down to reduce physical strain
    • If in public, move to a less crowded area
    • Remove yourself from overwhelming stimuli (loud noises, bright lights)

    The simple act of positioning yourself in a safe environment sends powerful signals to your brain that the perceived threat has passed.

    3. Accept Rather Than Resist Your Symptoms

    Paradoxically, fighting your anxiety often makes it worse. The fear of your symptoms—sometimes called secondary anxiety—can become more overwhelming than the original trigger.

    Why acceptance works: When you resist panic, you send your body the message that something is genuinely wrong, which amplifies the stress response. Acceptance interrupts this cycle.

    How to practice acceptance:

    • Acknowledge: “I’m experiencing anxiety right now”
    • Remind yourself: “This is uncomfortable, but not dangerous”
    • Recognize: “My body is protecting me, even though there’s no real threat”
    • Trust: “This will pass, just like it always does”

    The more attention these sensations receive, the stronger they feel. By accepting rather than catastrophizing, you reduce the emotional fuel that keeps anxiety burning.

    4. Use Grounding Techniques to Anchor Yourself

    Grounding techniques involve bringing your awareness back to the present moment by focusing on your senses. When your mind races with catastrophic thoughts about the future, grounding pulls you back to the here and now.

    The 54321 Sensory Exercise:

    This technique has become popular among therapists for its effectiveness in interrupting anxiety spirals.

    • 5 things you can see: Look around and name five objects in detail (color, shape, texture)
    • 4 things you can touch: Notice four sensations (the chair beneath you, your clothing, the temperature)
    • 3 things you can hear: Identify three sounds (traffic, breathing, a clock ticking)
    • 2 things you can smell: Find two scents (coffee, fresh air, or imagine pleasant smells)
    • 1 thing you like about yourself: End with self-compassion

    Why this works: It is hard to escalate anxiety when you are actively focused on the present moment. Your brain cannot simultaneously be fully present and catastrophize about the future.

    Additional grounding techniques:

    • Hold ice cubes and focus on the sensation
    • Press your feet firmly into the ground
    • Trace the outline of objects with your eyes
    • Count backward from 100 by sevens

    5. Activate Your Parasympathetic Nervous System Through Breathwork

    Deep, slow belly breathing is one of the most powerful ways we can take control of our stress response and calm the autonomic nervous system.

    The Science Behind Breathwork:

    A Clinical Psychology Review analysis of 40 randomized controlled trials concluded that simply slowing down your inhales and exhales can help curb feelings of anxiety.

    When you breathe slowly and deeply, you activate your vagus nerve, which signals your parasympathetic nervous system to override the fight-or-flight response.

    Effective Breathing Techniques:

    Box Breathing (4-4-4-4 method):

    • Inhale through your nose for 4 counts
    • Hold for 4 counts
    • Exhale through your mouth for 4 counts
    • Hold empty for 4 counts
    • Repeat for 5-10 cycles

    Extended Exhale Technique: Breathe in through your nose and count to 5, hold for 1-2 counts, and breathe out through your mouth and count to 5. Aim for no more than 8 breaths per minute.

    Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing:

    • Place one hand on your chest, one on your stomach
    • Breathe deeply so your stomach hand rises more than your chest hand
    • This ensures you’re engaging your diaphragm, not just shallow chest breathing

    Pro tip: Deep, consistent breathing at a controlled pace tells your parasympathetic nervous system to relax the body.

    6. Practice Patience While Symptoms Pass

    Understanding the timeline of panic can reduce fear during episodes.

    What to expect:

    • Acute panic symptoms typically peak within 10 minutes
    • Most panic attacks last between 5-20 minutes
    • Full physiological recovery can take 20-30 minutes or longer

    During the recovery phase:

    • Your heart rate will gradually return to normal
    • Muscle tension will release
    • Breathing will deepen naturally
    • Mental clarity will improve

    Remember: Panic attacks always pass. They cannot last indefinitely because your body cannot maintain that level of physiological arousal.

    Lifestyle Modifications That Make a Difference

    Regular Physical Activity: An active lifestyle can slash the risk of anxiety disorders by up to 60%, according to a Frontiers in Psychiatry study. Working out can also affect heart palpitations more directly, as it may improve how the nervous system and heart work together.

    Recommended activities:

    • Walking: Even small bouts of 10 to 15 minutes of physical activity can improve anxiety and depression symptoms, according to the Mayo Clinic
    • Running or cycling for cardiovascular benefits
    • Yoga and tai chi for the mind-body connection

    Yoga and tai chi are especially effective as both are often considered forms of moving meditation. The focus on deep breathing and connecting mind and body can be useful, as people who experience anxiety tend to disconnect from their bodies.

    Quality Sleep: Without enough quality sleep, the body becomes more reactive. Sleep deprivation raises cortisol, impairs emotion regulation, and can make the heartbeat feel irregular.

    Sleep hygiene basics:

    • Maintain consistent sleep and wake times
    • Create a dark, cool sleeping environment
    • Limit screen time 1-2 hours before bed
    • Avoid caffeine after 2 PM

    Nutrition for Nervous System Support: What you eat affects how your body handles stress. Nutrient-rich foods help restore balance. Magnesium, omega-3 fats, and stable blood sugar all support a more responsive nervous system.

    Nutritional strategies:

    • Increase magnesium-rich foods (leafy greens, nuts, seeds)
    • Include omega-3 fatty acids (fatty fish, flaxseeds, walnuts)
    • Stabilize blood sugar with balanced meals
    • Stay hydrated throughout the day

    If you are dehydrated, you set yourself up to get heart palpitations. Dehydration can make the heart beat faster and alter hormone and electrolyte levels, which can trigger more abnormal heartbeats.

    Substances to Limit or Avoid

    Caffeine: You rely on the caffeine in coffee or tea to rev you up, but too much can cause your heart to race or leave you jittery. Consuming up to 400 mg of caffeine daily (equal to about four cups of coffee) is generally considered safe, but pay attention to how caffeine makes you feel.

    Alcohol: Annals of Internal Medicine research shows that even a single drink can up the odds for abnormal heart rhythm for several hours after imbibing.

    Over-the-counter medications: Decongestants used to treat allergies or colds are among the top culprits because they can temporarily raise blood pressure and heart rate, potentially affecting heart rhythm.

    Mind-Body Practices for Long-Term Relief

    Mindfulness Meditation: Mindfulness meditation involves focusing your attention on the present moment without judgment. Regular mindfulness practice can help reduce anxiety and lower your heart rate over time.

    Progressive Muscle Relaxation: The practice of tensing, then relaxing groups of muscles in the body has been shown to reduce anxiety levels and improve sleep quality significantly, according to a study published in Perspectives in Psychiatric Care.

    Creative Expression: Participating in creative activities can lead to a significant reduction in stress, according to a Behavioral Sciences review.

    When to Seek Professional Help

    While occasional anxiety-related heart palpitations are regular, certain situations warrant professional evaluation.

    Consult a healthcare provider if:

    • Palpitations occur frequently or without clear triggers
    • Symptoms interfere with daily functioning
    • You experience severe chest pain or pressure
    • Palpitations are accompanied by fainting or near-fainting
    • You have a personal or family history of heart disease
    • Anxiety significantly impacts your quality of life

    Treatment Options

    Psychotherapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy helps you identify automatic negative thoughts, understand why they aren’t rational, and come up with ways to limit destructive thoughts and reinforce positive ones.

    Medication: Many people find relief by taking antidepressant medicines, including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as fluoxetine (Prozac) and sertraline (Zoloft). These are especially useful for people who are also burdened by depression.

    Integrated Approach: Very often, doctors recommend a dual approach combining psychotherapy and medication.

    Understanding the Anxiety-Heart Health Connection

    The connection between anxiety and heart health also travels in the other direction. A diagnosis of heart problems is likely to raise a person’s baseline anxiety. In addition, anxious people may also have adopted unhealthy habits (like smoking or overeating) that add to cardiac risk.

    This bidirectional relationship highlights why addressing anxiety isn’t just about mental health—it’s about overall cardiovascular wellness.

    Key Takeaways for Managing Anxiety-Induced Heart Racing

    Immediate strategies:

    1. Rule out cardiac emergencies first
    2. Move to a safe, comfortable environment
    3. Accept symptoms rather than fighting them
    4. Use the 54321 grounding technique
    5. Practice slow, deep breathing (8 breaths per minute or fewer)
    6. Wait patiently—symptoms will pass

    Long-term prevention:

    • Exercise regularly (moderate activity 150 minutes weekly)
    • Prioritize sleep (7-9 hours nightly)
    • Limit caffeine and alcohol
    • Practice daily stress management
    • Stay hydrated
    • Maintain balanced nutrition
    • Consider therapy or counseling

    Remember: With time and practice, the body can learn to interpret these signals with less urgency and more steadiness. Each time you successfully navigate an anxiety episode, you build resilience for the next one.

    Your racing heart from anxiety is not a malfunction—it’s a protective response that’s activating when it doesn’t need to. With understanding, practice, and the right tools, you can retrain your nervous system to respond more appropriately to stress, reducing both the frequency and intensity of these episodes.


    Frequently Asked Questions

    Can anxiety really cause heart palpitations? Yes. Anxiety is the most common cause of heart palpitations that aren’t related to a heart problem. The stress response releases hormones that naturally increase heart rate.

    How long do anxiety-related heart palpitations last? Acute symptoms typically peak within 10 minutes and resolve within 20-30 minutes, though full recovery may take longer.

    When should I go to the emergency room? Seek immediate medical care if you experience chest pain, pain radiating to your arm or jaw, severe shortness of breath, or loss of consciousness.

    Can I prevent anxiety-induced heart racing? Regular movement, restorative sleep, and supportive nutrition help reduce the frequency and intensity of anxiety responses. Long-term lifestyle changes are most effective for prevention.

    Is it dangerous? Palpitations from anxiety aren’t harmful to your body, but they can create uncomfortable feelings. However, always rule out cardiac causes with a healthcare provider if symptoms are new or concerning.


    Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. If you experience concerning heart symptoms, consult a healthcare provider immediately.

  • Why it matters that more athletes are talking about their mental health by John Affleck

    Why it matters that more athletes are talking about their mental health by John Affleck

    The great basketball writer Jackie MacMullan recently stood at the front of a hotel ballroom in Tampa taking questions after collecting a career achievement award from the Association for Women in Sports Media.

    I was in the audience that day. Initially, the questions focused on her early days in basketball as a reporter. But then someone brought up a series of stories MacMullan had written for ESPN last summer on NBA players’ mental health problems. MacMullan called it “probably the most important thing I’ve ever done,” and a nearly 10-minute discussion followed.

    The package featured All-Stars Kevin Love and Paul Pierce, among others, discussing their struggles with depression and anxiety. Other big names backed out at the last minute, concerned about the stigma of mental illness and whether it might hurt their ability to land a good contract in free agency, a point MacMullan emphasized when we spoke after the session ended. She said a league source called the problem “rampant.”

    It’s not just the NBA where athletes’ struggles with mental health are under scrutiny, either. As the director of the John Curley Center for Sports Journalism at Penn State University, I’ve noticed that mental health and sports is a topic gaining attention among athletes and the journalists who cover them.

    Wanting to explore why it’s happening now and why it matters, I talked to some experts in the field.

    Pro athletes are particularly susceptible

    Listing every publicly known example of an athlete dealing with a mental health issue would be a tough task, but it’s clear that neither the particular sport nor an athlete’s gender makes someone immune.

    O

    Michael Phelps – a swimmer with more medals than anyone in Olympic history – has spoken candidly for years about his struggles with depression. Longtime NFL receiver Brandon Marshall has gone public with his mental health issues, as has 2012 Olympic silver medalist in high jump Brigetta Barrett. Fox Sports has written about the frequency of eating disorders among female college athletes.

    Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps has spoken candidly about his struggles with depression. Reuters/James Lawler Duggan

    Experts I spoke with for this story pointed to a couple of reasons professional athletes are particularly susceptible to mental health issues.

    Many “are high-achieving perfectionists,” said David Yukelson, the retired director of sports psychology services for Penn State Athletics and a past president of the Association for Applied Sports Psychology.

    That’s great when it all comes together in victory or a terrific performance, but the toll of perfectionism can be tough when the results don’t match an athlete’s own expectations, Yukelson said.

    Playing sports in the age of anxiety

    The visibility of today’s elite athletes exacerbates the pressure.

    Scott Goldman, president-elect of the Association for Applied Sport Psychology, told me it’s hard for fans to understand what it’s like to constantly be in the spotlight. He recalled watching a pro football player prepare to run onto the field and wonder aloud whether anyone else in the building had people howling at them when they went to work.

    Add social media to the mix, and all the armchair experts that brings to any sports discussion. Earlier this year, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver told the MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference: “We are living in a time of anxiety. I think it’s a direct result of social media. A lot of players are unhappy.”

    The NBA has responded to the problem with a series of initiatives designed to help players cultivate mental wellness. Beyond compassion, the efforts make business sense: Happier players lead to better-performing players, which leads to more wins.

    Under the leadership of commissioner Adam Silver, the NBA has prioritized mental health awareness. Reuters/Jeremy Brevard-USA Today Sports

    Attention to mental health issues in sports also seems to be on the uptick in the United Kingdom, said Professor Matthew Smith, a historian at the University of Strathclyde in Glasgow. Smith, whose research focuses on medicine and mental health, has been tracking sports-mental health articles on the BBC for the last couple of years and noted the count recently topped 100 stories.

    He highlighted the suicide of Wales national men’s soccer team manager Gary Speed in 2011 as a watershed moment that catalyzed the country’s awareness and that still makes headlines.

    Fast forward to this May, when England’s Football Association revealed a campaign to show that “mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness,” with Prince William making the public announcement.

    Takeaways for athletes and fans

    Back in the United States, some wonder whether athletes are opening up about mental health issues because rates of such problems are rising among young adults, or if it’s simply become more acceptable to talk about the issue.

    Yukelson said times certainly have changed from the 20th century, when athletes were expected to absorb every setback and insult on their own. There’s more support now. The Association for Applied Sport Psychology, a group for sport psychology consultants and professionals who work with athletes, coaches and nonsport performers, was founded only in 1985. It now has 2,200 members worldwide, according to Emily Schoenbaechler, the group’s certification and communications manager.

    Goldman, meanwhile, compared the situation to not knowing you have a cockroach problem until you turn on a light. In other words, drawing attention to an issue makes more people aware it exists.

    But it’s also true that nearly one in five American adults has a mental illness, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. That’s more than 46 million people.

    Both Goldman and Yukelson noted that only good things can come from athletes opening up about the issue. The more athletes talk, the more fans might feel inspired to seek help on their own.

    The National Alliance on Mental Illness lists talking openly about mental health as the first way to reduce stigma. And an early advocate for speaking out about players’ mental health, Metta World Peace – who changed his name from Ron Artest in 2011 – notes that when he first talked about his struggles, the media thought he was “crazy.” Now the default is to call for getting the athlete some help, he says.

    It all points to changing attitudes in sports – and society.

    Or as Phelps put it in a recent tweet, “getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness.”

  • Can you really be addicted to food? Researchers are uncovering convincing similarities to drug addiction Professor Claire Wilcox

    Can you really be addicted to food? Researchers are uncovering convincing similarities to drug addiction Professor Claire Wilcox

    People often joke that their favorite snack is “like crack” or call themselves “chocoholics” in jest.

    But can someone really be addicted to food in the same way they could be hooked on substances such as alcohol or nicotine?

    As an addiction psychiatrist and researcher with experience in treating eating disorders and obesity, I have been following the research in this field for the past few decades. I have written a textbook on food addiction, obesity and overeating disorders, and, more recently, a self-help book for people who have intense cravings and obsessions for some foods.

    While there is still some debate among psychologists and scientists, a consensus is emerging that food addiction is a real phenomenon. Hundreds of studies have confirmed that certain foods – often those that are high in sugar and ultraprocessed – affect the brains and behavior of certain people similarly to other addictive substances such as nicotine.

    Still, many questions remain about which foods are addictive, which people are most susceptible to this addiction and why. There are also questions as to how this condition compares to other substance addictions and whether the same treatments could work for patients struggling with any kind of addiction.

    How does addiction work?

    The neurobiological mechanisms of addiction have been mapped out through decades of laboratory-based research using neuroimaging and cognitive neuroscience approaches.

    Studies show that preexisting genetic and environmental factors set the stage for developing an addiction. Regularly consuming an addictive substance then causes a rewiring of several important brain systems, leading the person to crave more and more of it.

    This rewiring takes place in three key brain networks that correspond to key functional domains, often referred to as the reward systemthe stress response system and the system in charge of executive control.

    First, using an addictive substance causes the release of a chemical messenger called dopamine in the reward network, which makes the user feel good. Dopamine release also facilitates a neurobiological process called conditioning, which is basically a neural learning process that gives rise to habit formation.

    As a result of the conditioning process, sensory cues associated with the substance start to have increasing influence over decision-making and behavior, often leading to a craving. For instance, because of conditioning, the sight of a needle can drive a person to set aside their commitment to quit using an injectable drug and return to it.

    Second, continued use of an addictive substance over time affects the brain’s emotional or stress response network. The user’s body and mind build up a tolerance, meaning they need increasing amounts of the substance to feel its effect. The neurochemicals involved in this process are different than those mediating habit formation and include a chemical messenger called noradrenaline and internally produced opioids such as endorphins. If they quit using the substance, they experience symptoms of withdrawal, which can range from irritability and nausea to paranoia and seizures.

    At that point, negative reinforcement kicks in. This is the process by which a person keeps going back to a substance because they’ve learned that using the substance doesn’t just feel good, but it also relieves negative emotions. During withdrawal from a substance, people feel profound emotional discomfort, including sadness and irritability. Negative reinforcement is why someone who is trying to quit smoking, for instance, will be at highest risk of relapse in the week just after stopping and during times of stress, because in the past they’d normally turn to cigarettes for relief.

    Third, overuse of most addictive substances progressively damages the brain’s executive control network, the prefrontal cortex, and other key parts of the brain involved in impulse control and self-regulation. Over time, the damage to these areas makes it more and more difficult for the user to control their behavior around these substances. This is why it is so hard for long-term users of many addictive substances to quit.Scientists have learned more about what’s happening in a person’s brain when they become addicted to a substance.

    What evidence is there that food is addictive?

    Many studies over the past 25 years have shown that high-sugar and other highly pleasurable foods – often foods that are ultraprocessed – act on these brain networks in ways that are similar to other addictive substances. The resulting changes in the brain fuel further craving for and overuse of the substance – in this case, highly rewarding food.

    Clinical studies have demonstrated that people with an addictive relationship to food demonstrate the hallmark signs of a substance use disorder.

    Studies also indicate that for some people, cravings for highly palatable foods go well beyond just a normal hankering for a snack and are, in fact, signs of addictive behavior. One study found that cues associated with highly pleasurable foods activate the reward centers in the brain, and the degree of activation predicts weight gain. In other words, the more power the food cue has to capture a person’s attention, the more likely they are to succumb to cravings for it.

    Multiple studies have also found that suddenly ending a diet that’s high in sugar can cause withdrawal, similar to when people quit opioids or nicotine.

    Excessive exposure to high-sugar foods has also been found to reduce cognitive function and cause damage to the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, the parts of the brain that mediate executive control and memory.

    In another study, when obese people were exposed to food and told to resist their craving for it by ignoring it or thinking about something else, their prefrontal cortexes were more active compared with nonobese individuals. This indicates that it was more difficult for the obese group to fight their cravings.

    drawing of a woman in a spiral surrounded by processed foods
    Researchers are still working out the best methods to help patients with food addictions develop a healthy relationship with food. Viktar Sarkisian/iStock via Getty Images Plus

    Finding safe treatments for patients struggling with food

    Addiction recovery is often centered on the idea that the fastest way to get well is to abstain from the problem substance. But unlike nicotine or narcotics, food is something that all people need to survive, so quitting cold turkey isn’t an option.

    In addition, eating disorders such as bulimia nervosa and binge-eating disorder often occur alongside addictive eating. Most psychologists and psychiatrists believe these illnesses have their root cause in excessive dietary restriction.

    For this reason, many eating disorder treatment professionals balk at the idea of labeling some foods as addictive. They are concerned that encouraging abstinence from particular foods could trigger binge eating and extreme dieting to compensate.

    A way forward

    But others argue that, with care, integrating food addiction approaches into eating disorders treatment is feasible and could be lifesaving for some.

    The emerging consensus around this link is moving researchers and those who treat eating disorders to consider food addiction in their treatment models.

    One such approach might look like the one described to me by addiction psychiatrist and eating disorders specialist Dr. Kim Dennis. In line with traditional eating disorder treatment, nutritionists at her residential clinic strongly discourage their patients from restricting calories. At the same time, in line with traditional addiction treatment, they help their patients to consider significantly reducing or completely abstaining from particular foods to which they have developed an addictive relationship.

    Additional clinical studies are already being carried out. But going forward, more studies are needed to help clinicians find the most effective treatments for people with an addictive relationship with food.

    Efforts are underway by groups of psychologists, psychiatrists, neuroscientists and mental health providers to get “ultraprocessed food use disorder,” also known as food addiction, into future editions of diagnostic manuals such as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and the World Health Organization’s International Classification of Diseases.

    Beyond acknowledging what those treating food addiction are already seeing in the field, this would help researchers get funding for additional studies of treating food addiction. With more information about what treatments will work best for whom, those who have these problems will no longer have to suffer in silence, and providers will be better equipped to help them.

    I’m adjunct faculty at the University of New Mexico and an associate professor of translational neuroscience at the Mind Research Network. I’m an addiction psychiatrist, general psychiatrist and researcher in the area of addictions neuroscience and addiction treatment.

  • Why more school counselors and psychologists alone won’t solve America’s mental health crisis among students by Joni Williams Splett

    Why more school counselors and psychologists alone won’t solve America’s mental health crisis among students by Joni Williams Splett

    Author

    1. Joni Williams Splett, Associate Professor of School Psychology, University of Florida

    Of all the challenges that threaten the well-being of America’s schoolchildren, one of the most serious and severe is the lack of school counselors and school psychologists. Despite the increased demand for their services, there’s simply not enough professionals in these fields to go around.

    For instance, the American School Counselor Association recommends that there be one school counselor for every 250 students. However, in the 2021-22 school year – the most recent year for which data are available – the ratio of school counselors to students was one for every 408 students.

    Similarly, the National Association of School Psychologists recommends one school psychologist for every 500 students. But the ratio of school psychologists to students stands at just one for every 1,127 students.

    The Biden administration is well aware of the shortage and has taken action to close the gap.

    For instance, in 2021, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy issued an advisory that calls for, among other things, expanding the mental health workforce in schools by using federal, state and local funds.

    President Joe Biden released a Mental Health Strategy in 2022 that seeks to provide mental health care to more children. And in May 2023, the Biden administration announced US$286 million for 264 grantees to train and hire school mental health professionals – a move that grantees say will enable them to prepare more than 14,000 new mental health professionals for America’s schools. That’s a significant number, but schools would need to hire more than five times that amount to meet recommended ratios.

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    As a professor of school psychology – and as a recipient of one of those grants – I also know that as important as it is to train more school counselors and school psychologists, increasing their numbers alone is not enough to change the course of the rising mental health needs among America’s children and youth. That is, doubling staffing of mental health professionals in schools doesn’t guarantee they will be used effectively or appropriately. Without accompanying changes to school systems and priorities, I fear the mental health needs among our youth will continue to accelerate, as it did during the pandemic.

    To address this challenge, I see three areas where schools need to revamp the way they meet students’ mental health needs.

    1. Free up school counselors and school psychologists

    A girl sits on a bench in a coatroom in a school as an school worker listens to her.
    One-on-one time with school counselors and psychologists can be hard to come by in schools with high student-to-counselor ratios. 10’000 Hours

    Research, including my own, shows that school-based mental health professionals are overwhelmed with job duties that are outside the scope of supporting students’ mental health. For instance, school counselors also serve as the testing coordinators in most schools.

    School psychologists report being overloaded with evaluations to determine if students are eligible for special education services. About one-third of those responding to a recent membership survey of the National Association of School Psychologists indicated they don’t provide mental health interventions and services at all.

    These school counselors and school psychologists report that about 25% to 50% of their day is consumed with paperwork and other miscellaneous duties. Constantly working outside their areas of expertise and desired practice is leading to burnout that leads many to leave the field.

    To alleviate the situation, schools could search for ways to shift tasks that don’t require specialized knowledge, such as test coordination and certain types of paper work, to staff with less extensive and expensive training.

    This would allow current school mental health practitioners – and the additional 14,000 the Biden administration hopes to bring into the field – to engage in the wider range of services their students need. This could be a way to better align their practice with the recommendations of their professional associations and potentially lead to more job satisfaction and less burnout.

    2. Make time for mental health in schools

    In my work with school districts across the Southeast, mental health professionals are being hired but then restricted to working with kids only during the student’s lunchtime or certain classes, such as art, music or physical education. Although I don’t advocate for children missing class, I also don’t think it’s a good idea for children to work on self-regulation strategies or investigate negative belief patterns while eating a hot dog or missing their favorite extracurricular. It also limits the number of students any one professional can support during a school day.

    Some schools around the world have extended the school day. Some in the U.S. have moved to a year-round schedule with positive effects, such as improved achievement scores for students from low-income and minority backgrounds. Perhaps by rethinking the school day and the school year, more school time could be made for mental health professionals to take a holistic approach to all the areas a child may need instruction and support.

    3. Prioritize prevention

    Prioritizing prevention includes promoting a positive school climate and teaching healthy habits for maintaining one’s mental well-being to all youth. A positive school climate – including social, emotional and physical safety, respectful behavior, an emphasis on learning, and social connectedness with peers and teachers – is shown to reduce risky behaviors and aggression. It also increases positive mental health outcomes and academic success.

    Teaching life skills, like being aware of one’s own and other people’s emotions, what’s causing the emotions, how to manage them in healthy ways and where to seek help, has also been shown to prevent the development and escalation of mental illness among children and youth.

    There are evidence-based curricula that schools can use to teach and reinforce these skills. For example, Positive Action is designed to teach pre-K-to-12th grade students how their thoughts, feelings and behaviors are related. It is taught in classrooms by teachers for about 15 minutes, three to four days each week, for an entire school year.

    There is evidence of large to moderate effects of Positive Action in elementary schools on student mental health, behavior and academic achievement. If these prevention strategies were prioritized in policy and funding, I believe America’s schools and school mental health professionals would be better positioned to more systematically address the unrelenting rise of children’s mental health needs.

    Joni Williams Splett, Associate Professor of School Psychology, University of Florida

  • Toxic Friendship Detox: How to Use Mindset to Attract High-Quality People

    Toxic Friendship Detox: How to Use Mindset to Attract High-Quality People

    Change Your Circle, Change your thoughts can profoundly impact the people you surround yourself with. Our thoughts shape our beliefs and perceptions, attracting like-minded individuals into our lives. We naturally gravitate towards those with similar mindsets when we cultivate positive and empowering reviews. This shift in thinking allows us to build a supportive network of friends and acquaintances who uplift and inspire us.

    Conversely, dwelling on negative thoughts can unknowingly create a cycle of negativity that attracts toxic or unsupportive individuals. It’s essential to be mindful of the types of ideas we entertain because they directly influence the energy we emit out into the world. By consciously choosing to think positively, we invite happier, more optimistic people into our lives who motivate and encourage us.

    While changing your thoughts is powerful alone, it becomes even more transformative when coupled with a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive influences. Surrounding ourselves with people who embody qualities we aspire to develop helps us grow and expand. These uplifting connections serve as reminders of what is possible and provide valuable guidance during times of uncertainty or self-doubt. We create an environment that fosters personal growth and success by curating a circle filled with like-minded individuals who support our goals and dreams.

  • Can Yoga Help Treat Mental Illness? By Holgar Cramer Ph.d

    Can Yoga Help Treat Mental Illness? By Holgar Cramer Ph.d

    yoga mental illness
    Brenkee/Pixabay

    Should you happen to have visited a major city in the past 10 or 20 years, you might have noticed a health trend: yoga. The thousands-year-old Indian spiritual practice made its way into gyms, universities and even religious centres worldwide. New yoga centres seem to pop up weekly, advertising new yoga styles and making new health claims. Interestingly enough, yoga is not just perceived as a recreational activity but mainly as a way to increase and maintain health: national surveys show that about 31 million U.S. adults (more than 13% of the population) have used yoga for health reasons.

    Yoga has been shown in clinical trials to improve pain by stretching muscles and aligning posture, to lower blood pressure by rebalancing the autonomous nervous system and to reduce inflammation by regulating chronic stress. In recent times, yoga is more and more perceived not only as a way to reduce stress and increase physical fitness but also to overcome mental suffering. This should not really come as a surprise: already about 2000 years ago the Indian sage Patanjali, the “grandfather” of modern yoga, defined yoga as the “control of the fluctuations of the mind”. And “fluctuations of the mind”, rumination or uncontrollable thoughts are cardinal symptoms of several mental disorders.

    This potential of yoga to control unwanted mind wandering has hit the big time when Hillary Clinton reported how “alternate nostril breathing”, a classical yogic breathing technique, helped her to heal from her election loss – and from giving up her lifelong dream of becoming president of the USA. However, beyond gossip and anecdotal evidence, there are hard scientific facts and clear mechanisms by which yoga might help with mental symptoms:

    Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a major public health problem affecting up to 6% of the world population. PTSD results from substantial traumatic experiences and is thus far more common among veterans, survivors of wars or natural disasters, and victims of violence. The syndrome is characterized by re-experiencing, avoidance and arousal. PTSD is associated with a brain structure called the amygdala which connects the memory of certain experiences with emotions – in the case of PTSD the amygdala is overactivated and thereby constantly produces the aforementioned symptoms.

    By reducing stress, yoga can increase parasympathic activity, this is the relaxation response, and could thereby directly reduce amygdala activity. This seems to be mainly driven by yogic breathing such as alternate nostril breathing. From a psychological viewpoint, PTSD is characterized by the paradox that patients feel anxious about the future although the traumatic event lies in the past. This is mainly driven by an overgeneralization of past experiences and negative appraisal of own actions, negative reactions by other people and life prospects.

    Yoga involves aspects of mindfulness, this is a non-judgmental open attention to and acknowledgment of even unpleasant emotions or memories. This can increase emotion regulation rather than avoidance. The mindful awareness of the transitory nature of one’s momentary physical, sensory, and emotional experience during yoga practice is thought to lead to a change in self-appraisal, thereby reducing PTSD symptoms.

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    In line with these thoughts and theories, clinical trials have shown that yoga actually can reduce symptoms of PTSD: studies from North and South America and Australia have recruited veterans and other people with traumatic experiences and randomly allocated them to yoga interventions lasting weeks to months or to control groups which were not treated at all or received rather unspecific health counseling. In a meta-analysis of these studies, my colleagues and I demonstrate that those participants who practiced yoga experienced a much stronger and clinically relevant reduction in their symptoms – even if the yoga style was not specifically designed for participants with PTSD.

    Fear and anxiety

    Other studies have targeted anxiety disorders. Anxiety is a normal response to specific situations or events. Without anxiety, mankind would surely not have survived. However, excessive fear or anxiety may be indicative of an anxiety disorder. In generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) for example, elevated levels of anxiety, which are associated with concerns about health, relationships, work, and financial issues, lead to a wide variety of physical symptoms and behavioral changes. In the U.S., more than 4% of the population have been estimated to suffer from GAD alone.

    Excessive anxiety also has implications for long-term health, with somatic symptoms of anxiety, such as palpitations and irregular heartbeat, being associated with an increased risk of cardiovascular disease. Interestingly, treating anxiety is one of the main reasons people give for practicing yoga. Again, mindfulness seems to play a key role here: patients with GAD have been shown to be less “mindful” than the general population, indicating that mindful body work, breathing and meditation can help here – perhaps by “controlling the fluctuations of the mind”? Interestingly, anxiety disorders are more prevalent among patients with breathing disorders such as asthma or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and breathing retraining has been an essential part of many cognitive behavior therapy approaches for anxiety disorders.

    yoga mental illness
    Yoga therapy in an American military hospital. US Navy/Juan Pinalez

    Not surprisingly, yogic breathing is often seen as the main part of yoga when it comes to treating mental disorders, not the well-known yoga postures. The effects of yoga have been researched for a number of anxiety disorders, including GAD or phobia. We have analyzed these studies in a further meta-analysis. While the results are positive, most studies are quite old and do not fulfil the requirements of modern science, so replications are urgently needed. What yoga clearly does is relieving symptoms of anxiety in healthy individuals – be it diffuse everyday fear, examination anxiety or performance anxiety in musicians.

    It remains unclear whether alternate nostril breathing alone can really ameliorate mental suffering. What is clear is that yoga can help with trauma-related symptoms and anxiety, and that breathing exercises are a main mechanism by which it does so. Needless to say that patients with mental disorders should not try yoga on their own but only after consulting their psychiatrist and psychotherapist. For minor everyday anxiety, simple yogic breathing techniques might be worth a try as a self-care strategy.

    Holger Cramer

    Holger Cramer, PhD, is professor (full) for research in complementary medicine at the University Hospital Tübingen, Germany, and scientific director of the Robert Bosch Center for Integrative Medicine and Health at Bosch Health Campus, Stuttgart.

  • 15 Easy Habits That Support Your Mental Health

    15 Easy Habits That Support Your Mental Health

    Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body. Unfortunately, you may sometimes forget about your mental health.

    After all, it’s evident if you visit the gym instead of watching TV or eat salmon for dinner rather than fried chicken. How you treat your mind is usually less visible and more difficult to track.

    To stay on top of things, it helps to develop easy habits that fit into your usual routines. That way, smart choices become more automatic. Use these tips to help you get started.

    Taking Care of Yourself

    Slow down

    Multitasking increases your stress levels and can actually damage your brain. When you find yourself rushing around, take a deep breath. Figure out your priorities and eliminate unnecessary commitments.

    Shift your attention

    Do you dwell on disappointment
    ts and overlook the positive events that happen each day? Start a gratitude journal to remind you of the things that you’re thankful for.

    Listen to music

    Your favorite songs can lift your spirits and give you more energy. Put together playlists for working out and doing household chores.

    Spend time outdoors

    Bask in the sunshine. If you’re working at home, bring your laptop out on the patio. Go camping or take a picnic to the beach on weekends.

    Monitor media consumption

    Disturbing news can weigh you down, and comparing yourself to others.


    Reading that book can make you feel like you’re missing out. Search for inspirational content and set limits on screen time.

    Continue learning

    Stimulate your brain. Read books and take online courses. Talk with others about their careers and hobbies. Ask lots of questions.

    Stay active

    Physical exercise benefits your mind and body. Any routine you enjoy will help.

    Rest and relax

    Sleep deprivation and chronic stress can interfere with your mood and cognitive abilities.

    Aim for 8 hours of sleep each night and take refreshing breaks throughout the day. Take time to reflect in solitude or enjoy soothing hobbies.

    Value yourself

    Love and accept yourself for who you are. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

    Build your confidence by setting goals and working towards them.

    For a quick assessment of your mental well-being, check out the TheraConnect Mental Health Quiz.

    Connecting with Others:

    Mental health support habits

    Show appreciation

    Strengthen your relationships by letting others know that they’re important to you.

    Pay attention to what your friends and loved ones have to say.

    Remember their birthdays and send gifts and cards for no special occasion.

    Gather together

    Online communications work well as a supplement rather than a substitute for face-to-face interactions.

    Socialize offline with family dinners and standing dates with friends.

    Practice forgiveness

    Let go of grudges and resentments. Encourage reconciliation and healing.

    Share a laugh

    Humor relieves anxiety and depression and can even serve as a natural painkiller. Tell funny stories about your personal life and pass along your favorite video clips starring pets and babies.

    Mental health support habits

    Set boundaries

    Make a conscious decision about how you want others to treat you and what kind of behavior you find acceptable.


    This might include your expectations about privacy, communication, physical boundaries, and so on.

    Then clearly let others know your wishes.

    Give generously

    You’ll feel a warm glow when you help someone in need.

    Some research suggests that the mental health benefits are most substantial when you know the recipient. Donate to charities and remember your loved ones, too.

    Develop your own mental health routines based on your personal needs and preferences. Nurturing your mind will help you enjoy a happier, more meaningful life.

  • Stop ‘Fighting Fair’: Why Every Relationship Needs 3 Secret Unfair Rules to Survive

    Stop ‘Fighting Fair’: Why Every Relationship Needs 3 Secret Unfair Rules to Survive

    Traditional communication advice is killing your passion. Use these three counter-intuitive conflict strategies used by elite couples to solve problems in 10 minutes or less.

    You’ve been taught to “fight fair”: use ‘I’ statements, never go to bed angry, and always meet in the middle. The problem? This advice turns conflict into a sterile, time-consuming negotiation that feels more like a business meeting than an expression of passion. It fails because it prioritizes process over speed and emotional context.

    Elite couples—those who solve problems quickly and maintain deep intimacy—don’t fight fair. They use what appear to be “unfair” rules, but are actually highly efficient psychological tactics designed to end the fight and restore connection immediately.

    1. The Rule of the Designated Runner (The “Unfair” Pause)

    The Conventional Wisdom: Never leave an argument; it’s disrespectful. The Viral Rule: Someone has the right to call a 10-minute time-out and physically leave the room.

    Arguments escalate because our amygdala (the emotional center of the brain) is hijacked by cortisol. When stress levels are high, logical thinking drops to zero. Telling an overheated person to stay put is like throwing gasoline on a fire.

    • How it Works: Agree in advance that one person (the “Runner”) can, at any time, simply say, “I need 10.” The other person must respect this without follow-up. The Runner immediately leaves the shared space (goes outside, into another room).
    • The Unfair Advantage: This stops the fight mid-sentence. It gives the Runner a chance to literally move their body and drop their heart rate, and it forces the pursuer to regulate their own emotions in silence. Both return after 10 minutes with clarity.

    2. The Rule of The 70/30 Resolution (The “Unfair” Victory)

    The Conventional Wisdom: Always compromise 50/50. The Viral Rule: In any specific disagreement, one person must get 70% of what they want, and the other gets 30%.

    A 50/50 compromise often leaves both parties feeling mildly resentful because neither got their core need met. The 70/30 rule requires one person to fully capitulate on a non-essential issue, which builds emotional equity for the future.

    • How it Works: For low-stakes disagreements (e.g., deciding which movie to watch, where to eat, or the color of the bathroom paint), one partner must intentionally choose to give the other a clear win.
    • The Unfair Advantage: This teaches you to distinguish between genuine, core needs (the 30%) and mere preferences (the 70%). By giving your partner a clear victory, you send a powerful message: “I value your happiness over my preference.” This stored goodwill makes them eager to give you the 70% win on the next, more important issue.

    For a quick assessment of your mental well-being, check out the TheraConnect Mental Health Quiz.

    3. The Rule of Mandatory Ridiculousness (The “Unfair” Interrupt)

    The Conventional Wisdom: Conflict is serious and must be treated seriously. The Viral Rule: When either party senses the argument is circling (saying the same thing three times), they must introduce a mandatory, ridiculous interruption.

    Most fights stop being about the issue and start being about the emotional rhythm and defensiveness. You need a circuit breaker that forces a physical and psychological reset.

    • How it Works: Agree on a pre-determined, ridiculous action (e.g., doing a silly dance, talking in a fake accent, making a funny face, or saying a non-sequitur phrase like, “But did the badger get the briefcase?”). When the phrase is deployed, the argument stops immediately.
    • The Unfair Advantage: It shifts the state from defensive anger to shared amusement, which is physiologically impossible to maintain simultaneously. Once you’re both laughing, the seriousness of the argument collapses, allowing you to approach the core issue with a regulated nervous system.