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  June 16, 2025

Proclaiming our older sister/ sibling energy, or wherever you may fall on the familial pecking order, is the latest and most significant form of self-expression. Growing up as the eldest sibling, I quickly learned that being an older sister had a particular set of responsibilities and expectations. I was meant to be the role model who had it all figured out. As I navigated through life’s challenges, I embraced this identity and allowed it to shape me into a confident and caring individual.

However, I realized it is our way of caring, and sometimes we care too much! I realized that proclaiming our older sister’s energy goes beyond fulfilling family roles; it becomes a way for us to assert ourselves in society. It becomes a declaration of our strength and resilience. No longer confined by traditional gender roles or societal norms, we redefine what it means to be an older sister, whether biological or not, by showing up authentically in our younger sibling’s time.

We show up whether we are needed: Firstborn women tend to be pleasers; everybody’s got to be happy,” says Kevin Leman, author of The Birth Order Book. “They’re the leaders of the family; they tend to be achievers. They’re more likely to be the pilot, the engineer, the architect, or the English teacher. Anywhere where structure and perfection pay, you’ll find the firstborn.” (He says firstborn men, alternatively, tend to be controllers.)

Embracing my older sister’s energy has been liberating. It also allows me to celebrate my accomplishments while supporting others in their journeys. Whether mentoring younger siblings or guiding friends through life’s challenges, wielding this power gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. By embracing this self-expression, we uplift ourselves and inspire those around us to stand tall in their unique identities within their families or communities. I do have to learn to let others have time to grow.