The Roller Coaster of Kindness & Cruelty
Unraveling the hidden motives behind a narcissist’s alternating behavior
Understanding the Switch: 10 Reasons Behind Narcissistic Behavior
Keeping Hope Alive
The narcissist tosses occasional kindness to keep you hopeful and motivated — triggering a reward system in your brain so you work harder for a future that never arrives.
Transactional Kindness
Kindness comes when they need attention, validation, or resources. It’s not a change of heart — it’s a calculated transaction to get what they want.
Playing with Emotions
By creating emotional highs and lows, they keep you off balance, making you rely on their rare kindness for relief from the chaos they cause.
Fear of Exposure
If you get close to spotting their flaws, they switch to kindness to cover their insecurities and maintain their illusion of perfection.
Sharing the Spotlight
If you’re getting attention, they’ll join in to protect their image and make it harder for others to believe their cruelty behind closed doors.
Nice in Public
Public charm acts as a shield, deflecting suspicion and keeping their carefully curated reputation intact.
Seeking Comfort After Injury
When their ego takes a hit, they seek your empathy — not out of genuine connection, but to recharge their self-image.
Avoiding Consequences
Acts of kindness are used as a way to dodge accountability, making it harder for you to confront their behavior.
Faking Normalcy
They sprinkle in compassion to convince you they’re stable and to shift blame for relationship problems onto you.
Strategic Re-Engagement
Post-breakup, they return with charm to reignite hope and regain control, pulling you back into the cycle.
Conclusion
Recognizing these tactics empowers you to break free from their manipulative cycle. Stay vigilant and protect your emotional well-being above all else.
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